What do you want from me?
You have the heaviest hands.
Im having problems.
Problems with my heart.
Im scared...
I wake up to my pulse in my ears
and sometimes feel as if the blood is running out of me.
At least now mum is allowing me to go to the doctor.
But now its becoming harder and harder to lie.
Its surprising that I am not better at this by now.
Doctors in general scare me.
Their hands are heavy as well...
they remind me of his,
of theirs.
Their fingers are cold, freezing, and make me shake.
He doesnt like the fact that I am 85 pounds.
He doesnt like the fact that I shake,
or do not look him in the eyes.
He sighs when I cry in front of him.
They are all sort of the same.
I do not and can not trust anyone.
Im having problems.
Problems with my heart.
Im scared...
I wake up to my pulse in my ears
and sometimes feel as if the blood is running out of me.
At least now mum is allowing me to go to the doctor.
But now its becoming harder and harder to lie.
Its surprising that I am not better at this by now.
Doctors in general scare me.
Their hands are heavy as well...
they remind me of his,
of theirs.
Their fingers are cold, freezing, and make me shake.
He doesnt like the fact that I am 85 pounds.
He doesnt like the fact that I shake,
or do not look him in the eyes.
He sighs when I cry in front of him.
They are all sort of the same.
I do not and can not trust anyone.
posted by Ischelle at 1.5.07
8 Comments:
You can trust your own inner beauty, Ischelle, and your ability to find words to express your pain. Clearly, no one can take that from you.
oh ischelle...i do not have any words left ...
Beauty is love, Ischelle.
Love is not brutality.
Let beauty find you, Love, and flee from brutality.
God be with you.
Ischelle your poem was beautiful and there was something in it that left me deeply sad...
why do you have to apologise ? why are you sorry? you are my special friend as surely as I missed etienne by a lifetime...
and i am there for you always.
shakir
Ischelle, trust your own talent. It can forge beauty even out of the things you endure. Your poems are beautiful. I hope you will be able to rise above the suffering, to come to a place where you are whole, and safe, and able to unleash the full force of your talent. The world needs more poets and less brutality.
Stopping in to say hi.
I hope you are feeling better by now and the doctor was able to help you.
Sending you good wishes,
Sara
Thinking of you and hoping you are doing well.
ischelle... i miss you.. i pray all is well with you.. i prayed again today.. come back.. there are carnivals.. tehre are poems.. there are lots of words lying here and there waiting to be read...
all in your name
your friend
shakir
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